pieces of my heart

The past few weeks have felt like a dream. I am cleaning out desk drawers full of sticky note reminders and packing up clothes and random junk I’ve collected the past 4 years. Looking back to my freshman year, I had no idea just how quickly this moment would come. People would tell me that it goes by fast, but you never know how fast until it’s gone. I’ve turned in my last assignments, I picked up my cap and gown, and I’m in the process of saying “see ya laters” to the best community of friends Jesus has given me through the years spent in Boone.

I’m not going to lie. I hate this feeling of leaving everything and everyone I have come to love. It’s hard. It makes tears well up in my eyes as I try to bat them away in public. I don’t think I’m going to be able to hold them in this week. I feel like I’m losing a huge piece of my heart. And maybe I am.

I’ve been through many seasons of life where I’ve had to say goodbye to places and people so I can move on to something new. I do think that as we grow attached to people and places, we give a little bit of our heart away to each one. And I think that’s good. Because now I hold a piece of others’ hearts in my own heart. I’m thankful that the Lord placed people in my life throughout college that shared their lives with me. People who are honest and grace-filled. People who took me under their wings and showed me how to have a relationship with the Father. Kids at camp who loved with all they had. People who prayed for me. People I prayed over. Friendships that have withstood being spread across the country. People who made me laugh until milk came out of my nose. People who sat with me in despair and reminded me that God does have a plan for every thing that has happened to each of us.

I hold special places like room 407 in my heart. That table on the second floor of Cascades and then the Greenway trail on a rainy day. The stadium on game day when the mountaineers run onto the field. Places like the gaga pit at camp where some of the hardest conversations happened. The Cross campfire where Jesus met me and told me that He didn’t condemn me either. Places like rough ridge and Caldwell community college at sunset. Living rooms filled with learning about the Gospel and how to live it out in our lives. Even the cookout drive-thru holds a place in my heart.

And just like that, it’s time to pack up boxes and suitcases of memories and go to the next place. The next place for me is unknown. I’ve applied to so many schools around NC and I’m not even sure I know where I want to be. But I have faith that the Lord is going to put me in a classroom in the exact place He needs me. He has a very specific plan for our lives and He knows where we are needed. I find solace in the fact that wherever I am placed, I am needed in that new place. A piece of my heart is going to go to that place and the people I meet there.

Praying for all of you taking a step into the unknown. Walk in obedience, the Lord is delighted with you and He has so much to show you. Give Him your heart and then share Him with those around you in whatever place you end up.





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